


Wrong Number

by CastellanGarak



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Genderfluid Character, Irresponsible consumption of alcohol, Micropenis Dukat makes yet another appearance, Other, but what's new, rating to increase with future chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 11:16:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20527121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastellanGarak/pseuds/CastellanGarak
Summary: It's not Garak's fault Skal and Skrain are right next to each other on their contacts list! Anybody could make this mistake after having consumed this much kanar! In fact, Garak feels no guilt in shifting the blame onto Dukat, because *really,* he just accepted this chain of events without question?? Truly ridiculous. As if Garak would ever send Dukat... *those* kinds of pictures on purpose!





	Wrong Number

**Author's Note:**

> So sorry to post a new yet again unbetaed WIP instead of the countless other stuff I should be posting, but this was already all typed out anyway ages ago and I have low energy fjfjkalsd. So a few points to begin:
> 
> 1) "Why is Garak suddenly genderfluid recently when they never were before in your other fics," you may be asking. That's the secret, Cap. They were always genderfluid. I was just too cowardly to publicly back up my dearly held headcanon, in case it scared people away, or whatever. But I can no longer hide from the truth.
> 
> 2) "Why does Dukat suddenly have small junk recently when he never did before in your other fics," see above jfklsdf.
> 
> edit to add: sorry if this spams your e-mail idk how this works
> 
> 3) I knew I forgot one, "Why is Dukat way taller than Garak now," see above yadda yadda. And also Garak isn't shorter than canon, Dukat is just taller than canon because I'm all about that height difference, but don't want Garak shorter because they are the perfect height and that's the that on that, also I'm regretting posting unbetaed WIP to ao3 at like 4 AM on 24 hours of not sleeping, because you know that stuff reads fine at the time but then you go to bed and wake up and it's awful so if this is gone when I wake up you'll know why fjklsadf

Garak can’t sleep. And they have another migraine. They scrunch their brow, bringing a hand up to rub at it, and shove the covers down, rolling out of bed. They go to the medicine cabinet and take out their pill bottle, then shake out a few of Bashir’s experimental treatments tailored specifically to them. Ever since the wire incident, Garak’s suffered from severe, chronic migraines, and Bashir’s been trying to alleviate them, with mixed results.

Garak sits down on their couch to give the pills a moment to work. After a bit they go to get their padd, intending to pass the time with some light reading, until the pills kick in. They turn it on, and there’s the beep of several notifications coming through. Garak opens the first one, from a hookup app they recently downloaded. It’s a message from Skal Canset, a Cardassian man newly on the station, for work. It’s been a while since Garak has been with a Cardassian (or anyone, for that matter), but they’ve finally gotten horny enough that they just need to get off, even if they’ve gotten a bit old for meaningless sex. 

Garak checks the timestamp of the message, and it’s fairly recent. Garak scrunches their brow, wondering what the man is doing up so late. Then they read the message, and their question is answered. [[ Can’t sleep. Send me a pic to help? ;) ]]

Garak sighs. [[ _ Why _on earth would a photograph help you to sleep? ]]

[[ You know… nature’s sleeping pill. ]]

Garak makes a disgusted noise. While they realize a certain crudeness is only to be expected when one engages with a hook up app, they don’t know why it has to be so… blatant. 

[[ This app does not allow the sending of images. ]] Garak says, hoping that will put the matter to rest.

[[ Text it to my padd. ]] Skal says. 

Garak rolls their eyes. They momentarily weigh the matter of allowing someone such a personal connection to them, then decide it’s easy to block him if he abuses it. 

[[ Alright, give me your number. And be more precise about what kind of photo you want. ]]

[[ A dick pic should do nicely ;) ]] Skal says, and then sends his number.

Garak sighs again. _ The things I do for sex, _ they think.

[[ Alright. Give me a moment. ]]

Garak doesn’t want to do this with a headache, in case it leads to sexting, or something. Garak turns on their padd’s text to speech function and has it read to them for a while, but their headache doesn’t seem to be fading, so they decide to help it along with some kanar. 

They end up having quite a bit more than intended, quite a bit faster than intended, but Skal won’t quit pestering them, and Garak is starting to regret this entire endeavor. After the nth notification from the dating app messenger service, Garak has had enough.

[[ Alright, alright, calm down, I’m taking it. ]]

They mute the app, for good measure. 

Garak undresses, then stimulates themself to eversion. They open the camera, then take a moment to adjust the lighting and framing. They want this to look good, figuring they’ll probably have cause to reuse it, if everybody on this blasted hook up app is going to be this puerile.

After they’re satisfied, they open their contacts list and select Skal’s name, then send the pic. 

Immediately, they feel a flush of humiliation. They’ve never done something like this before. And their self esteem has always been quite low, the knowledge that they’re considered quite unattractive by Cardassian standards always weighing heavily on them. It doesn’t help that, inversely to humans, being well endowed is undesirable for Cardassians. And Garak can certainly be classified as larger than average. 

Garak considers deleting the photo, but then the three dots appear indicating Skal is typing, and since he’s already seen the photo, now there’s no point. Garak watches the dot nervously, feeling frustration rising when the typing pauses and restarts several times.

Finally,

[[ Is that… you?? ]]

Garak’s eyes widen in surprise. That is not the response they were expecting. 

[[ Uh… yeah. I’d have thought that was rather obvious. ]]

There is a pause, three dots, longer pause, three dots, and then,

[[ Why are you sending me this. ]]

The period rather than question mark causes Garak to imagine that sentence said in a flat, unimpressed tone. Garak feels a mixture of anger and humiliation swirling about in their chest.

[[ Look, I’m not here to play games. You clearly wanted this. But if you’re going to act this way, I’m going to stop texting you, and I’d appreciate if you extended me the same courtesy. Goodnight. ]]

Garak fumbles at the power off button on their padd, but another text comes through, so they decide they may as well check it first 

[[ No, wait! I do want this! ]]

Garak lets out a sigh, some of the tension leaving them. [[ Alright. Well. It’s late, and you should sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. ]]

[[ You expect me to sleep after _ that? _ ]]

[[ Of course. Nature’s sleeping pill. ]]

[[ Works better with company ;) ]]

Garak rolls their eyes. 

[[ I suppose I should have expected this. But why, pray tell, should I allow you over? ]]

Garak’s not just playing hard to get. They really feels like crap, and although the entire purpose of this app is to get laid, their conversation partner is going to have to earn it. 

[[ Perhaps this will entice you? ]]

Garak eyes the screen warily, and waits. 

[[ Well? ]] They ask, after they felt they’ve waited long enough.

They are then assaulted with a picture of an exposed member. Garak nearly spits out the sip of kanar they had just taken. Once they’ve regained their composure, they say,

[[ You lied. ]]

[[ About? ]]

[[ You said you were six inches. ]] Although Garak didn't really believe that claim to begin with, that being rather unusually large for a Cardassian, they did not expect _this much_ of an exaggeration 

[[ I don’t recall. Do you not like what you see? ]]

Garak snorts. They take a closer look. [[ I don’t know. What can you do with it? ]] They realize what they’ve said, and let out a drunken giggle. They’ve never been… _ quite _ so forward, before. But they’re drunk, and lonely, and bored. 

[[ Why don’t I come over and show you ;) ]]

[[ I have a headache. ]]

[[ All the more reason. I’ll make you feel better. ]]

[[ I’m sure you think so. But I have my doubts. ]]

[[ Playing hard to get stopped being cute a long time ago, Elim. ]]

[[ You’re lucky you have the prettiest cock I’ve ever seen, because your personality leaves much to be desired. ]]

[[ I… what?? ]]

Garak flushes right up to their chufa. [[ Forget I said anything, I’ve had far too much to drink. ]]

[[ Ah. Well. ]]  
  
[[ Can I come over, or not? ]]

Garak shifts their weight, resettling themselves on the couch, as they consider the photo. It’s a rather attractive cock, all things considered. One they wouldn’t mind having inside them. Garak’s breath speeds up, and they bite their lip, annoyed at their lack of control. They pick up their padd. 

[[ If you must. My quarters are chamber 901, habitat level H-3. ]]

[[ I know. See you soon. ]]

_ He knows?? _ Garak thinks. _ How? Stalker? _Garak will have to put an end to such inappropriate behavior immediately. They’ll have to scold the man once he arrives. 

In the meantime, Garak takes a quick sonic shower, then does what they can with their hair. 

They are just contemplating whether spritzing on some cologne would be overkill, when the door chimes. Putting down the bottle, Garak rushes out to the main room, and opens the door. 

They are suddenly face to face with Dukat. Their face scrunches. “Dukat,” they spit. “Go away, I’m expecting company.”

Something odd happens with Dukat’s face, as he snorts. “Uh, yeah. Me.”

Garak rolls their eyes. “Dukat, I know you think the world revolves around you, but--”

“You invited me,” Dukat interrupts, impatiently.

Garak scoffs. “Uh-huh. Because that certainly sounds like me.”

It is Dukat’s turn to roll his eyes. He takes out his padd and shoves it in Garak’s face. Garak’s eyes go momentarily cross eyed, before they’re able to focus. They sort of regret getting so drunk. They regret it even more when they realize those are, in fact, their messages on Dukat’s phone.

“Hey!” Garak says, outraged. “Why am I saved in your padd as ‘asshole’?” 

“‘Asshole that probably has important information,’ to be precise,” Dukat corrected. “It’s a compliment.” 

“I beg to differ,” Garak snips. 

“Yes, well, I’m sure I’m something insulting in yours.”

“No, actually,” Garak says, but doesn’t elaborate. 

“Wait,” they realize. “You knew you were talking to me.” 

“Uh, duh.”

“And you still wanted to fuck??” Garak asks, incredulous. 

Dukat flushes slightly, as it finally sinks in that Garak only invited him over because of a case of mistaken identity.

“Yes, so are we doing this or not?”

“Or not,” Garak says, and presses their hands flat against Dukat’s chest plate, ready to shove him bodily out of their quarters. 

Then they pause, registering the texture under their fingers. They look down at them, at the armor beneath them. “Hm,” they say, thoughtfully. 

Dukat cocks his head curiously. “What?”

“You’re wearing your uniform.” 

“...Yes,” Dukat says. “Exactly how drunk are you?” 

Garak’s mouth twitches. And then they get up on their tip toes and kiss Dukat square on the mouth. 

Dukat flinches in surprise, and he shoves Garak back.

Garak stumbles backwards, catching themself on the coffee table. They snarl at Dukat. “What the fuck was that for??” they spit.

“Are you_ sure _you want this? Because that was a pretty definitive no, at first. And I won’t take advantage.”

Garak sniffs haughtily. “I changed my mind. I’m allowed.”

“Well… yes, but.”

“But nothing. You came here to fuck me, right? _ So fuck me _.” They approach Dukat again, placing their hands firmly on each neck ridge, and then leans up for another kiss, which Dukat returns, this time. 

Garak hums, pleased. They begin to tug Dukat back, towards the bed, which they then throw him across. Dukat’s breath leaves him in a sudden woosh, and he brings his hands up to unbuckle his chest plate.

“Leave it,” Garak says, voice rough.

Dukat raises a browridge in surprise. “Like a man in uniform, hmm?” he asks, with a smirk.

“Oh, shut up,” Garak growls, and straddles Dukat, leaning down for another kiss. Halfway, though, they stop, and bring a hand to their mouth, trying to stifle a gag. Somehow, the alcohol never hits as hard as after you’ve exerted yourself physically, they realize mournfully, as they are hit with a nearly unbearable wave of nausea.

“Oh, eugh, how drunk _ are _ you??” Dukat asks, again, but much more hysterically this time. “Do NOT vomit on me!”

It’s a near thing, but Garak manages to keep it down. “It's fine. ‘M okay,” they murmur. 

And then promptly pass out across Dukat’s chest.

“Great,” Dukat grumbles. 


End file.
